Dear Abby

ABBY: I am an 18-year-old male, and every day I face
judgment, cruel remarks, disapproving stares and other
harassment.

The reason? I want to be a tattoo and piercing artist. I
currently have one tattoo (which my shirtsleeve covers) and
more than 20 piercings. Eight of the piercings are in my
face, and most of the others are in my ears. My main ear
holes are stretched out to a half-inch.

I can’t walk down the street without hearing some comment,
or someone stopping and staring, slack-jawed. Even friendly
inquiries are becoming irritating. I’m passionate about
tattoos and piercings and have been since childhood. I chose
my piercings to balance each other and create an art form on
my face and ears.

At school I was judged and stereotyped at the beginning of
each year and would go out of my way to prove I am a nice,
respectable human being with feelings. Now, with a new
school term approaching, how can I get people to stop
judging me and asking dumb questions like, “How bad did
that hurt?”
– FUTURE SKIN ARTIST, PORT HURON, MICH.

FUTURE SKIN ARTIST: You have chosen to look different, so
you shouldn’t be surprised at the staring and the questions.
The sooner you realize it and learn to answer the questions
without being defensive, the better your chances will be of
being accepted.

P.S. Perhaps in the future you should consider moving to
Los Angeles. In this town everyone has seen almost every-
thing, and people who are different are less shocking.

ABBY: I have been dating “Daryl” for four years. We’re very
much in love and usually get along well. The problem is I’m
a scheduled-oriented person. I like to plan ahead what
we’re going to do and what time we’re going to do it.

Daryl, on the other hand, hates schedules and sometimes
flat-out refuses to commit to something because he “doesn’t
want to be tied down” to one.

I have tried to be more flexible, and I think Daryl has
tried to bend a little for me, too. However, I’m worried
that this issue will eventually come between us. I don’t
want to break up with him over it because I really do love
him, and this seems like a petty thing. Please advise.
– CLOCKING IN FROM ILLINOIS

CLOCKING IN: Your concerns are not petty. I don’t know how
“loosey-goosey” Daryl is, but men who “refuse to commit”
and “don’t want to be tied down” are often not only
extremely disorganized, but also confirmed bachelors.

You and Daryl have been dating for four years. Please give
serious consideration to whether this is the way you want
to spend the rest of your life, because your differences
will be a constant source of friction.

ABBY: Could you please tell me at what age a person can
claim to be a senior citizen? Also, at what age is one
considered a senior citizen in a restaurant?
– OLD ENOUGH? IN SAN DIEGO

OLD ENOUGH?: I have known some people in their 20s, already
jaded with life, who were “older” than many vibrant people
in their 80s who claim to be 80 years “young.” Years ago,
individuals were considered to be seniors at 65. But then,
to the disconcertment of many, AARP began soliciting people
at age 50. It seems the age of eligibility for “seniorhood”
dropped as they became a financial demographic that
attracted marketers.

The specific age to qualify for seniorhood isn’t carved in
granite — as you will find in various restaurants and
movie theaters. Start asking around and you’ll see what I
mean.