Dear Abby

ABBY: I work for a major lending company and have cleaned
out foreclosed homes. Too many times, I find animals who
have died from exposure or literally starved to death.

My message to homeowners is: PLEASE make arrangements for
your pets if you can’t take them with you. Once a loan
company notifies you of foreclosure, it can be many weeks
before someone enters that home. Give your pet a fighting
chance!
– DISCOURAGED IN ILLINOIS

DISCOURAGED: I’m pleased to pass along your important
message. If living arrangements change, your family pet
should not be abandoned or dumped to fend for itself.
Contact a rescue group so the animal can be placed for
adoption with another pet lover or a shelter.

ABBY: I have often read complaints about people who are
chronically late, but I have the opposite problem with my
friend, “Adele,” who is annoyingly early.

If I am hosting a get-together, Adele invariably arrives
45 to 60 minutes before the start time. I am usually making
last-minute preparations then and have sometimes not even
gotten into the shower yet. If we are going to an event
together, Adele will also arrive long before the appointed
time, and I feel rushed and rude for ignoring her while I
get ready. If I am driving, when I pick her up she’s always
waiting on her front step as though I am late.

Abby, I am a prompt person. I always try to get to an
appointment five to 10 minutes early, or arrive at a party
10 to 15 minutes after the appointed time, which I have
been told is good manners. Other than this one issue, Adele
and I are close, and I enjoy her companionship very much.
I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. Am I rude for
making her wait, or is she rude for imposing herself on me?
– ON TIME IN GERMANTOWN, WIS.

ON TIME: It is as rude to arrive very early as it is to
show up very late. According to Emily Post’s “Etiquette,”
a person should show up for an appointment (or social
engagement) on time or shortly after the time it is scheduled.

Adele may be lonely and hungry for company or have a lot
of time on her hands, but you should be good enough friends
that you can explain that when she shows up as early as
she does, it puts undue pressure on you. And the fact she
chooses to wait on her front step to be picked up should
not make you feel guilty. It is her preference, and not a
reflection on you.

ABBY: After I ordered at a fast-food establishment, the
cashier informed me of the amount of the bill. I had the
correct change and placed the money on the counter. She
looked at me and told me it was rude to place the money on
the counter instead of into her hands. She asked me if I
had a problem with handing her the money.

I was offended. Since I have never worked in the fast-food
industry, does placing payment on the counter send a negative
message? What are your thoughts, Abby?
– BURGER BOY IN MISSISSIPPI

BURGER BOY: I think the cashier may have been having a bad
day and was looking for a reason to dump on someone. Whether
you placed the cash on the counter or into her hands, your
bill was paid, and this is all that matters as long as you
were polite to her.