Dear Abby

ABBY: I’m a 30-year-old woman who has battled compulsive
eating and binge eating since my teens. (Yes, I still have
a weight problem.) I see a counselor and am trying to find
solutions that work for me.

My problem stems from well-meaning friends and family who
try to send me home with leftovers when I visit them.
Because I am single, they think I would like a home-cooked
meal. I politely refuse these offerings, but my hosts keep
insisting I take food until I give in just to avoid
additional argument.

How can I convince them I can’t take the offer without
offending them or revealing my “problem”?
– STUFFED IN CALIFORNIA

STUFFED: It’s difficult for me to believe that family and
close friends are completely unaware of a problem with
which you have struggled since your teens. However, if
that’s the case, thank these loving saboteurs and tell
them you have more than enough food at home and don’t want
to waste anything by having more than you can use. If that
doesn’t deter them, offer the food to a neighbor or someone
who might need or enjoy it. But under no circumstances
should you bring it into your house if it will trigger a
binge.

ABBY: I am in my early 50s and have great difficulty driving
at night. My daughter says my problem is a “lack of confidence.”
I say my problem is being unable to SEE.

One night I had to pick up my son outside city limits, and I
was scared. I couldn’t read the street signs and had
difficulty telling how far out of town I was and how close
to him I was getting. I didn’t have my cell phone with me
and couldn’t call him.

To me, this vision problem at night could be just as dangerous
as driving drunk. Would you please give me your opinion — is
this all in my head?
– GAIL IN TEXAS

GAIL: Yes and no. Because your eyes are located in your head
– on that score you are correct. However, your problem is
your vision, not an overactive imagination.

The person to tell you exactly what is causing the problem
with your night vision is an ophthalmologist — an M.D. who
specializes in diagnosing and treating diseases of the eye.
He or she can also tell you whether it is correctable or if
you should refrain from driving after dark because driving
blind is, indeed, as dangerous as driving drunk, and I don’t
recommend it.

ABBY: I have a close friend, “Janelle,” who is 15. I’d like
to spend time with her, but her parents are very strict.
They don’t allow Janelle to go anywhere without one of them.
They let her hang out only with a few girls from their church.

I am neither a member of her church nor a girl, but I am
also 15 and I’d like to be able to make plans with her. Is
there a way I can convince her parents to let us see each
other?
– WISHING IN PEORIA, ARIZ.

WISHING: When parents are as hyper-protective as Janelle’s
seem to be, there probably isn’t. However, if you begin
making friends with Janelle’s friends, it’s possible you
can spend some time with ALL of them. It’s just a thought.