Dear Abby

ABBY: A close friend I’ll call Millie recently confided that
she is being sexually harassed at work. The person is a major
client of hers, and she could lose her job if this is brought
to light.

I would like to help Millie, but I don’t know what to do.
Please help me. This is eating away at me.
– HURTING FOR MY FRIEND IN CONNECTICUT

HURTING: It is important that Millie report what has been
happening to her boss. It is her employer’s responsibility
to see that she is not bothered.

I have long thought that people who use their position of
power to sexually harass are either so pathologically
arcissistic they can’t believe everyone isn’t bowled over
by their charm (which, of course, is delusional thinking),
or so pitifully unattractive and insecure they must bully
their target into submission.

Whatever is driving your friend’s harasser, it is vital
for Millie’s emotional well-being that the person is
stopped. Laws protect people in the workplace, but only
if the harassment is reported.

ABBY: I would appreciate your perspective on something
that has been going on for about five years. When my
granddaughter, Allie, receives a gift, she takes it to
her room to open. Allie is no longer a child, Abby. She’s
an intelligent, attractive college graduate. Later on, she
will say thank you for the gift.

When I asked why she won’t open the gift when I give it to
her, her response was, I don’t like to be watched while I
open gifts. This leaves me unable to witness her pleasure
and makes me wonder why I spend my time purchasing anything
for her. Please give me your reaction.
– GIFT-GIVING GRANDMA, CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA.

GRANDMA: You are operating under the assumption that your
granddaughter likes the gifts you have chosen. Has it
occurred to you that she may take the gifts to open in
private because she knows you are waiting for her reaction
and finds it intimidating?

My feeling is that you and she should have a frank talk
about this, and you should take your cue from the outcome.
It’ll clear the air.

ABBY: Am I doomed to be a jack of all trades? I’m 21 and
can never stick with a job longer than six months. I get
bored and start looking for another one.

I have noticed my inability to find satisfaction in anything
I do. I pick up and drop hobbies in the span of weeks. I’m
currently in college and have switched majors six times.
Women drop me because I can’t decide on what my life’s work
should be.

I know I’m young, but it feels like the years are going fast.
What can I do to find my niche?
– A GUY NAMED MIKE IN OHIO

GUY NAMED MIKE: The first thing to do should be to head to
the student health center, explain your problem and ask for
an evaluation. Next, stop berating yourself for being
indecisive about your career path.

Generations ago, people trained for one career that was
supposed to last until retirement. Today, however, workers
can expect to change jobs several times over the span of
their careers. And that’s why a liberal arts education can
be helpful, because it exposes students to a wide variety
of subjects that can be helpful in the future.