Dear Abby

READERS: When I printed the letter about cheating in school
from “Valedictorian Contender” on May 27, my staff and I
were deluged with mail. If you’re interested in what folks
had to say, here is a sample:

ABBY: My husband and I recently retired from teaching at a
highly rated, competitive Midwestern public school. Cheating
was rampant, from copying homework to text-messaging during
tests in the classroom. When confronted, the cheaters were
surprised and usually asserted that “everyone else does it.”
And they were right.

Cheating occurs in the classroom, in sports, in extra-
curricular activities and in the hallways, and has become
more acceptable among students than ever before. Teachers
are practically powerless to control it; administrators
seem to have no idea how to handle it. Parents don’t want
to get involved for fear of angering their children, and
a strong leader may be “asked” to back down from pursuing
it.

My husband and I tried many times to make students under-
stand that what they were doing or thinking was wrong and
needed to be corrected, only to be met with an incredulous
stare, a sneer perhaps, and then, “Can I go now?” We began
asking ourselves that same question and realized last year
that WE “could go now” — and we did. More of our time was
spent trying to teach moral values and ethics and less was
spent on the required curriculum.

You were right when you said people’s codes of ethics have
taken a nosedive in the last decade. It’s rampant in every
aspect of life as you mentioned. But when it’s rampant in
our schools, it eliminates any chance of fixing it for
coming generations.
– RETIRED IN THE MIDWEST

ABBY: In recent years it seems cheating is encouraged by
parents. I have seen it when teaching Sunday school to
seventh-graders. The father of one of the Scouts in our
local Scout troop even called cheating “just a form of
competitive advantage.”

For a long time I have carried a quote in my wallet that is
my favorite saying: “Our lives begin to end the day we
become silent about things that matter.” The person who
said it was the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
– TONY S., NEW MILFORD, CONN.

ABBY: After teaching in public and private schools for 44
years, I believe that most students are honest the majority
of the time. However, I would advise “Valedictorian” to pay
attention. Make mental notes of the names of her classmates
who cheat every chance they get. Do not forget who they are.
She will be meeting them all the rest of her life.

If they go into business, shop elsewhere. If they become
bankers, put your money elsewhere. If they go into the
service industries, get your car or your teeth repaired
somewhere else.

Above all, do not let your siblings marry one of them –
marriage is the biggest “test” of all.
– E.B., LINDEN, ALA.

ABBY: Your reply to “Valedictorian” was, as usual, on
target. The notion of (personal) responsibility is another
“R” that should be taught in school.
– WAY TO GO IN MONTANA

WAY TO GO: Thank you for the kind words, but I beg to
differ. Responsibility for one’s actions should be taught
in the home, by example, by the parents. Readers, more on
this tomorrow.