Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: The letter from “All in Love Is Fair” (Oct. 1),
asking your opinion about asking her boyfriend to pay for
half the cost of her birth control pills, made me chuckle.
I have been married for 28 years, but when my husband and I
were going together, I paid for my birth control. One day
when I was at the pharmacy and my birth control method went
from the conveyer belt to the bagger, she remarked how expen-
sive it was. I just smiled and said, “Not as expensive as a
baby!” The checker cracked up. I think you gave the writer
the correct answer.
– BEEN THERE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thanks for your support, but we are defin-
itely in the minority. I heard from one other reader who
agreed with us. On the other hand, thousands of men and
women wrote that my answer was sexist and outdated. Please
forgive my lapse, folks. I admit that while my batting aver-
age may be pretty fair, I am not “pitch” perfect.

DEAR ABBY: I preach equal responsibility for birth control
to both my daughters and my son! Shame on you for telling
“All in Love” that paying for birth control is only the
woman’s responsibility. It is the responsibility of both
partners. Only when men are as concerned about preventing
unwanted pregnancies as women will there be fewer unwanted
(and often abused) children and single welfare mothers.
Please rethink this.
– JEAN W., FORT COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR ABBY: It’s bad enough that women usually have to deal
with the birth control issue, but having to pay 100 percent
of the cost is absurd. Men should kick in toward other forms
of birth control, as they reap the benefits. Likewise, a
woman should split the cost of condoms.

Perhaps “All in Love Is Fair” should tell her boyfriend it’s
now his turn to take care of the birth control and offer to
split the cost of the vasectomy.
– REBECCA IN ATLANTA

DEAR ABBY: I work in the area of unintended pregnancy preven-
tion. One of the biggest hurdles this country faces in tack-
ling the problem is getting males to shoulder their responsi-
bility in preventing unintended pregnancy. You have set the
field back with your response.

Men who insist that birth control is solely the responsi-
bility of the woman aren’t mature enough to be having sex.
If the boyfriend is unwilling to contribute toward prevent-
ing pregnancy, she should stop having sex with him.
– S.S. IN RICHMOND, VA.

DEAR ABBY: I agree with you that a personal prescription drug
should not be a shared expense if it’s for an illness. But
pregnancy is not an illness. Not having children is the re-
sponsibility of both parties involved, just as having child-
ren is the responsibility of both. Please tell her “Don’t
pop the pill if he won’t share the bill!”
– PAUL IN LA PORTE, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: When my boyfriend and I became sexually active
in college, he went with me to Planned Parenthood and waited
while I saw the doctor. He paid half the cost of the birth
control device, saying, “This is for our pleasure together,
and it protects us from becoming parents before we’re ready.
It’s my responsibility, too.” I knew right then that he
really loved me, because he cared about my future.

That sweet, honorable boy grew up into a loving and support-
ive husband. We’ve been happily married almost 20 years.
– MARISSA IN PALO ALTO

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