Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 15 years to the sweetest
man in the world. We love each other, we like each other,
and I feel truly fortunate.

I was recently involved in a conversation with some co-work-
ers who were discussing marriage, and they asked me what I
would do if my husband left me. I told them I trust my hus-
band completely, and I know he would never leave me.

I was then informed that I am living in a fairy tale! The
rest of the conversation was spent trying to convince me
that my husband will eventually leave me, even though none
of these people has ever met him. He has never cheated on
me. I tried to explain that there are still some decent men
in the world, but they refused to accept it.

Abby, I prefer not to live my life looking for negative
things because I believe it taints relationships. I believe
that if I continue to view my marriage as blessed and wond-
erful, it will be. Why can’t people allow others to be happy?
What prevents these people from seeing good instead of bad
and, more important, why can’t they see that there are coup-
les in good marriages who are committed to making them work?
– HAPPILY MARRIED IN CORPUS CHRISTI

DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: Have you never heard the expression
“misery loves company”? Some people are so dysfunctional
that the only way they can make themselves feel better is
to make others feel worse. When they see a happily married
couple, it reminds them that in some way they failed or chose
someone who failed them.

You have a healthy, optimistic attitude and a successful
marriage. Please do not allow your co-workers to continue to
spread their negativity, or sooner or later it may affect
you. Avoid them, live your life, continue to appreciate what
you have, and let them wallow in their suspicion and discon-
tent.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I host Christmas at our home. We
have always served the meals buffet-style. Please tell me
how to address the problem of relatives who move down the
serving line constantly licking their fingers and then touch-
ing the utensils of all the other dishes. This may not be a
concern to everyone, but to us it is unsanitary and unappeti-
zing.

While we’re on the subject, whatever happened to people wash-
ing their hands before they eat? Please hurry with your an-
swer. The holidays are almost here, and I need a solution.
– PICKY IN WASHINGTON

DEAR PICKY: While it’s advisable for people to wash their
hands before eating, not everyone does — and unless you want
to assume the role of “Mommy” and pass out anti-bacterial
hand wipes as people get in line, you may have to accept
that some of your guests won’t do it.

As to how to handle the “contaminated” utensils, consider
serving the food cafeteria-style, with you and your spouse
doling it out to each of your guests. This should eliminate
the “ick” factor.

DEAR ABBY: I know this issue has been addressed before in
your column, but now it has happened to me. My adult son died
a year ago. It was very sudden. I try not to constantly talk
about him, but when I meet people for the first time and I
am asked if I have children, how should I respond? I have one
other child, an adult daughter.
– WONDERING IN OHIO

DEAR WONDERING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of
your son. When someone asks if you have children, it is per-
fectly acceptable to tell the questioner that you have two
– a daughter and a son in heaven.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting
along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should
Know.” To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed
envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby — Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris,
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