Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: Two weeks ago, out of the blue, my middle-aged
neighbor, “Ed,” brought over a bushel of apples from his
tree. He told me he didn’t want them to go to waste, and he
wasn’t going to do anything with them. I told Ed I didn’t
want them, but he left them with me anyway.

Reluctantly, I spent my days off peeling, coring and cooking
them into batches of apple crisp, pies and jam. I gave away
all of the items to friends and family, and saved one pie to
give to Ed.

When I took it over to him, he said, “Is that it? What did
you do with all the rest?” When I told him I had given every-
thing else away, Ed got upset and said he should have gotten
more because they were his apples!

Abby, I am just furious. I didn’t want, ask for or need those
apples in the first place. I worked hard preparing them, and
the last thing I expected was for my neighbor to be so un-
grateful. Am I overreacting? I seriously want nothing more to
do with the man.
– OFFENDED IN APPLETON, WIS.

DEAR OFFENDED: Once your neighbor gave you the bushel of ap-
ples, they were yours to do with as you chose. While it would
have been generous of you to have given him a sample of each
of the items you created with them, you were under no obliga-
tion to do so. To hold a grudge against this presumptuous man
is a waste of time, so let it go. Something tells me he won’t
burden you with his apples again anytime soon.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two
booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Rec-
ipes by Dear Abby.” Send a business-size, self-addressed
envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby — Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris,
IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married very young by today’s
standards. We met when I was 17, started dating when I was
18, became engaged at 19 and married at 20. My family suppor-
ted the marriage. We completed a full year of premarital
counseling and a weekend marriage course, as well. We’re fi-
nancially stable and very much in love.

Two years later, we’re still happy as ever and know that
marrying was the right choice for us.

Acquaintances and strangers often feel the need to tell us
that our marriage “won’t last.” Some even go as far as to
say, “Are you crazy? Why would you do that?” Is there a po-
lite way to respond to these comments? We find them hurtful
and insulting.
– YOUNG AND IN LOVE

DEAR IN LOVE: Those comments are not only rude and insult-
ing, they are also presumptuous, and a reflection of the
speakers’ biases and possible problems with making a com-
mitment. But please do not sink to their level. Marrying
late is no guarantee that the union will be successful,
either. To those who say it won’t last, smile and reply,
“Time will tell.” It’s the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem remembering people’s names,
even though I have been attending church with some of them
for nearly 10 years. It’s embarrassing when someone greets
me and I can’t recall his or her name. Have you any sug-
gestions for me?
– BEWILDERED IN GRAND RAPIDS

DEAR BEWILDERED: Your problem is very common. Some people
have solved it by using word association when they meet
people, and by repeating the name after being introduced.
Example: “It’s nice to meet you, (true, blue) Sue.” (The
true and blue are, of course, silent.) A group picture
from the church newsletter with a caption underneath can
also be a powerful memory-jogger if you look at it before
you leave for church.

If all else fails, fall back on that old show-business stand-
by, “DAHLING, you look MAH-velous!”

Tags: bad feelings, bad feelings spoil whole bunch of neighbor's apples, conflict with neighbor, neighborhood troubles, neighbors apples

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