Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I’m hosting what’s called a Naked Ladies Party.
It’s where all the women come over with all the clothing,
accessories, jewelry, etc. they no longer want. We strip
down to our skivvies, try on each other’s stuff, then vote
on who should get to keep it. (Basically, we just swap items
to get new ones.)

I have a very good friend I’d like to invite, but she is
significantly larger than the rest of us and wouldn’t fit
into any of our clothes. She acts like she’s not sensitive
about it, but I don’t want to embarrass her by inviting her.

She and I work together and some of the women from work are
invited, so she will find out about it. I feel like no
matter what I do, I’m going to hurt her feelings or put her
in an embarrassing situation. What should I do?
– IN A PICKLE IN LAKEWOOD, OHIO

DEAR IN A PICKLE: Talk to your friend about the party and
let her know exactly what it’s about. While she may not be
comfortable stripping down to her skivvies and the clothing
wouldn’t be appropriate, she might be interested in the
accessories and the female bonding. Let her decide.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter’s 21-year-old boyfriend, “James,”
tries to make her jealous by complimenting me or making
inappropriate comments about me to her. I have only recently
been made aware of what he’s doing because he has never dir-
ected his comments to me — only to my daughter.

“Monica” is a beautiful young woman. I am a 53-year-old mom,
attractive for my age but nothing special. It is apparent
James is playing some kind of mind game with her, and it has
begun to have a negative impact on her relationship with me.
I think my daughter needs to move on to a more mature guy.
What do you suggest?
– JUST A MOM IN GRAPEVINE, TEXAS

DEAR JUST A MOM: Either your daughter’s boyfriend has formed
a gigantic crush on you, or she’s dating the most insensi-
tive guy on the planet. Whatever is motivating him, the out-
look is not good for her, and I hope she’ll accept that the
relationship is going nowhere positive and give that heel
the boot.

DEAR ABBY: I was taught that a performance receives a stand-
ing ovation when it is truly spectacular. When you are esp-
ecially moved or inspired, you show your appreciation by
standing. Abby, every show I go to now receives a standing
ovation. I don’t always join in. I feel it should mean some-
thing, not just be expected at the end of every show.

I’m tired of getting the “evil eye” from people standing
around me because I didn’t feel an ovation was warranted.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still generous with my applause and
take into consideration all the aspects of the show. (For
example, I wouldn’t expect a play featuring 5-year-olds to
be held to the same standard as a Broadway show.)

Am I wrong? Should I stand with everyone else, and am I con-
fused about the meaning of standing ovations? Or should I
remain seated? — RELUCTANT IN MADISON, WIS.

DEAR RELUCTANT: If you don’t feel a performance merits a
standing ovation, stay in your seat. Do not let the react-
ion of other audience members intimidate you. It’s possible
they may be related to someone in the show, or even be the
producers.

Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The
Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send
a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or
money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger
Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage
is included.)